i don’t understand. why are you being so difficult? we don’t have to turn something so small into something so monstrous. honest. i was always honest with you. did you think i ever lied to anyone? i understand that you have some trust and friendship issues going on because of what happened to you when you were in primary school, but why are you doing this now? when it’s the end of the year and we just want to be happy as friends. no matter what you did, i always forgave you even though it may not have been the right thing. everybody always told me. maybe i was being too lenient with you. was i? i don’t know. this time, i want to take this calmly. the many previous times, half of me wanted to yell at you and ask you all the blunt questions that would hurt you and the other half of me wanted to sympathise with you. this time, i just want to talk to you, ask you why are you doing this. the past times, i always told myself to put the blame on myself and not other people. but i don’t know what to do now. he says that it’s his fault but i disagree. he apologized even though he doesn’t need to. if i ever need something, it’s understanding, courage and determination. for just this year that he met you, he has helped you so many times, either directly or indirectly. did you notice? i wish it was easy to talk to you. but when i try, you don’t hear me. what goes in? what do you really want? friends who understand you, forever with you, forever loving you? no one can forever love someone except themselves. which means, only you can love yourself forever, from the time you’re born. your parents will leave you in your later life, your friends may loose touch, your lover will only be with you three-quarters of your life. so i’m saying, please learn to treasure now. t-r-e-a-s-u-r-e. treasure whatever you have now, every precious thing you own, you possess, you keep. and another thing. please don’t be rash. don’t jump to conclusions when they might not be true. so will you please, after reading all of this (if you did read), please listen again? just listen and don’t do anything. i only need to talk to you.
Archive for October, 2007
this kind of thing
things that happened today:
1/ audrey and joyce carried cheryl and cheryl did a funny Buddha thing that made everyone who was watching them laugh like mad.
2/ shiming, xueling, moyra and i saw gene trying on pants in the Adidas shop. (i think that was cute)
3/ we watched The Seeker.
4/ today is the last day of school, so see you all next year.
hmmph.
things i would like to emphasise:
1/ he does not like me. i do not like him. to shorten those 2 sentences, please stop teasing. (i am not ready for this kind of thing anyway–maybe when i’m older)
2/ i must finish my homework as soon as possible before i start slacking.
3/ i have to improve everything, including my English, even if people think it’s good. (to me, it’s not good) and also my Chinese, which is totally horrible.
4/ i must start studying soon. i am not clever.
things that i feel now:
1/ bored
2/ sleepy
3/ lazy
4/ hot
things i have to start on:
1/ theory papers
2/ composition (and possibly comprehension)
3/ looking up current news and general knowledge
4/ stop sms-ing and replying messages because i’m going to exceed the limit
i know there’s a lot of list of things today, but then, it’s better than writing large long paragraphs that a few people complain about… (you know who you are!) and at least it’s in point form (so you better not say anything now).
things to look forward to during the holidays:
1/ streaming results (i don’t know why i feel so happy about it; i must be insane)
2/ band?
3/ Australia!
4/ the nice feeling i get when i have some free time
unfortunately i don’t think i’ll have a lot of free time, but anyway, it’s better to have holidays than rot away in school (i really don’t like the word ‘rot’, it makes me think of corpses).
i wonder what everyone is doing now.
front pocket
songs we did during band today:
-Pecos Pueblo by Wong Kah Chun
-Eine Kleine Natchmusik by Mozart
-Folklore for Band by Jim Andy Caudill (half of the song only)
hilary is one silly SL. she was poking, boxing, tickling and pushing me because i was sitting beside her. and when band ended and we were waiting to be dismissed, she took her cleaning stick with the cloth already on it and stuck it into my shirt’s front pocket. sec 3 clarinetist samantha–the one hilary says has sexy legs–saw and began laughing. isn’t hilary crazy?
alumni senior lynette came. it was the first time i saw her. and she asked what was my name.
i feel a bit scared talking to the seniors.
oh yes, we had ‘tremors’ today. then we had to assemble in the field and suntan for almost an hour. zhihao, moyra, candy, weicong and i played scissors, paper, stone. whoever lost had their hand beaten. funny game!
10 days to theory exam.
i don’t know you;
romantic and classic
replies to tags (sorry that i’m so late)
the bus broke down!
Miss Khoo: Dear Stacey, I hope you are not too discouraged about your SA2 marks. I know that you have tried your best. Whatever it is, cross your fingers and hope for the best
P.S: I think I still prefer the champagne flutes picture :p
haha thanks ms khoo! by the way, this is the champagne flutes picture. see the champagne? (:
the FROG princess xD: hey hey. don’t be too upset over your EOY results. mine sucked too. damsel in shining armour to your rescue! (:
0.o hongkai went to tag you! didn’t expect it. how come he knows your blog? by selene? lol. (:
thanks damsel in shining armour! or should i say, pork chop in shining armour (: and yes, he knows about my blog.
hongkai: cheer up stacey!! you had done your best for EOY already! no point getting upset over it now,right? (: let bygones be bygones,the most next year jiiayouus k? chiong arh!! ;D all the best next year!! ;D
thanks hongkai! all the best for next year too!
zhihao: i gave up on streaming already. marks sucks. if i get into a sucky class, so be it. i dun even know why we are doing triple science in SEC1. sheesh.
hahaha, never mind. work harder next year! it’s good that you studied this streaming, otherwise your marks would have been even worse.
the baby of the family
joycelyn: wahaha what a long post (:
haha yeah. i’m quite used to typing a lot.
zhihao: HEY. go to imeem. u would be able to find to challeng the sky and heavens above. www.imeem.com
get an account there. can find loads of band songs there too!
okay. thanks mr bean!
Miss Khoo: Dear Stacey,
I was wondering if I can hear you play on the piano one day
?
NOOOO! i think i’m horrible on the piano.
zhihao: ahh, piano.
unfortunately miss khoo, u are not our music teacher.
if not u could have heard her play the piano during music lesson!
haha!
stacey: SHEESH. only zhesheng got A for PE? how biased can that person be?
i know im slow. haha! got it from you!
everyone knew zhesheng was the only one who got A for PE the day the results were shown. yes, she can be really biased (i think). how annoying. by the way, i don’t have any slow disease or whatever okay…even if i do, it’s not contagious!
Miss Khoo: Actually, I used to play J.S. Bach’s Goldberg Variations during one of the lunchtime concerts during my university days in Sheffield. Besides the opening aria, my favourite movement is Variation 23
Goldberg Variations? sounds difficult…
joy: stacey, do you mind relinking me?
thanks a lot
http://channelsofjoy.blogspot.com
yes mummy! and thank you for all your tags!
zhihao: i want japan. haha!
ENJOY UR AUSTRALIA. must buy things for me(:
haha. thanks. you enjoy your trip to japan too! i’ll see what i can get okay?
ahhh today was horrible! first we sight read this piece called Pecos Pueblo. because hilary was unwell and weijun was somewhere-where-no-one-knows, both of them were not there to play flute 1. so i had to play flute 1. bad thing is, there was this solo at B section. good thing was, i played the solo with wei shin (the only oboist today because rachel the Band Major was also absent like hilary and weijun), so it was okay (i think). but my tone sucks! big time. then we played To Challenge The Sky And Heavens Above. quite fun! zhihao played flute 1 with me. then got on to Singapore Rhapsody Movement II. kind of stumbled at some parts. but guess it was okay.
we had this personal grooming and social etiquette workshop today, led by image consultant ms sally tang. she told each and everyone of us our personalities and face shapes. i am–apparently and surprisingly–the quite romantic and classic type of person. i never really thought of myself as romantic.
ms tang said my face shape is a small oval (to which she put her palm in front of my face like everyone does when they want to tease me. pffft).
got Project I presentations today. thinking about getting either the Geography one–we can go around getting samples of water and measuring the Ph value and looking at the quality of life in Singapore or something like that–the mangrove swamp one–go to the mangrove swamps every alternate Saturday to clear the rubbish and get to save the Earth, as well as wear Phua Chu Kang construction boots–or the English Project Amiss–this lets us do creative writing and conjure a local story like 881 or Home Run. what do you think? i might choose HaiJournalism if i’m that kind of bold person, but no. i hate being in front of the camera. i only like taking pictures with the handphone (which is small and less intimidating). what do you think i should take?
goodbye!
the baby of the family
boring and cold day today.
went out for piano lesson this morning around 10.35. when i was on my way to the busstop, 354 came! that was about 10.45. and i didn’t want to waste time just to wait for the bus. so i cut through downtown east, past east vale, went through the park and walked all the way from my house to white sands!
with Corrinne May singing in my ears all the time.
inside the mrt, joanne caught up with me. turned out she’d been calling me when we’d been going up the escalator but i didn’t hear. (so blur) in the mrt i heard someone call my name but i didn’t see anyone and continued walking. joanne was wearing pretty white pumps that were pointed at the ends (no heels) and was carrying a matching white purse.
walked to my piano teacher’s house and sat at those chairs at the void deck and put one measly plaster on my blistered left foot. i hate it when i walk so far; the Havaianas make me get blisters where the slipper strap keeps brushing my feet. anyway, after piano lesson (11.30-1.30) i got really bored. went to tampines mall foodcourt but it was quite crowded and i didn’t really want to eat alone. so i went down and got a green apple ice blended with pearls. went down to B1 and walked around, then sat at the ledge with that small pond behind and finished the drink.
called my dad, told him i’d finished lunch–it wasn’t lunch, actually–and went to the library. browsed through the Young Adults Section and finally settled with Roland Smith’s Peak. the boy in the book is called Peak Marcello and he’s going to climb Mount Everest! and he’s only 14. cool!
2+ to 4+ in the library, got really cold. the rain had slowed to a drizzle. so i went out, contemplating whether to stay outside or go in again. anyway, i went back in and this flute book caught my eye. it was on that kind of display shelf (no glass) so i took it and began leafing through it. it was quite cool. the piccolo was described as ‘the baby of the family’ and it said that the piccolo is Italian for small. kept me occupied for a few minutes (lots of people went past me and i wondered if they were thinking what a crzay girl like me was doing, just standing over there and browsing through the book).
i borrowed the book and stepped out. i was feeling hungry and afraid that my stomach would start grumbling like it did when i was having piano lesson earlier that day, so i went to the bread shop (it’s at that stretch of shops that line the way to the interchange) and bought this coffee bread or whatever. (there were doughnuts and i immediately thought of shiming going crazy over them if she saw them)
crossed the road and went back to the library. then my dad called when i had only eaten half of the bread and later picked me up.
next time, i better bring a jacket. i was really cold yesterday as well. my family went for dinner at Sakae Sushi and my dad let me wear his big jacket because i was feeling cold. the problem was, the sleeves were too long and the jacket was too big. but it was rather fun wearing a big man’s jacket!
to challenge the sky and heavens above is a nice song. mrs chua says it’s easy to play but hard to get the style. i’m still trying to find the recording. want to hear how they play.
bye! (621 words in this post)
the bus broke down!
so tomorrow band has to perform for this talent showcase thing.
we have to be in school by 7 according to the band clock (it’s faster by 5 minutes).
rachel does not–and will not–accept excuses like:
-the bus came late
-the bus broke down!
-the car broke down!
and so on (i can’t remember what’s the last one).
the flute section was so small today (the people in the main band). instead of 6, we had hilary, weijun, zhihao, joanne, kaiping and me. and hilary and zhihao had a lot of nonsense going on when we stopped playing every time. example staring at rachel, making up weird names for me like ‘loony low’ and ‘tooty tekko’ (‘loony low’ makes me sound like a total lunatic which i’m not and ‘tooty tekko’ is not acceptable because hilary is already ‘tooty tip’, which is very cute) and lastly imitating whatever i did.
sheesh. they can be so lame at times.
anyway, i think i shall put the exam results (i studied so hard for Geography and got so little marks). and the total percentage i put at the bottom of every subject is just the stuff i listed above it.
english
comprehension: 14/25
summary: 8/25
free writing (composition): 20/30
formal letter: 19/30
grammar paper: 82.5/100
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 68.33%
math
paper 1: 31/50
paper 2: 29.5/50
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 60.5%
高级华文 (i shouldn’t even be in this class)
公函: 7/20
作文: 27/70
阅读 (paper 2): 54.5/110
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 44.25%
science
physics: 23.5/40
chemistry: 24.5/40
biology: 27/40
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 62.5%
history
27/50
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 54%
geography
48/80
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 60%
literature
53/80
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 66.25%
so, the highest grade i got was B3, for english and literature. then B4, science, math and geography. C5, history. E8, chinese.
very very horrible.
looking at my mid-year marks, my science (physics, biology), history, geography and chinese dropped for SA2. the subjects that i had improved slightly on are chemistry, english, literature and math (for SA2).
poof, more subjects dropped than improved.
okay never mind,
time to go.
even though
thank you all again. you’re nice nice nice people and i feel lucky to have met you all.
joycelyn, my piano theory exam is on the first week of november (i think). feeling a little scared.
thank you my damsel in shining armour,
i’m glad you set me off.
even though i felt ashamed to cry that day,
i feel okay now.
i know i don’t normally express my feelings like this.
moyra, i know you did okay for all your subjects. hope you get into the class of your choice. and oh yes, thanks for tagging (:
mushroom,
i hope that you’re okay.
don’t let your problems get into the way!
thank you for cheering me up even though you feel terrible.
talk to me if you ever want to
and i’ll listen.
thanks ms khoo,
i’ll pick myself up when i fall.
i just hope that i’ll be able to pass overall.
see you all and good luck for english paper 3 and geography paper!
failing
thank you:
clar,
xueling,
shiming,
willy,
selene,
weicong,
jasmine,
hongkai and
emily.
i failed my chinese.
公函: 7/20 (need 3 more marks)
作文: 27/70 (need 8 more marks)
阅读 (paper 2): 54.5/110 (need 0.5 more marks…)
so wasted.
when i heard my 公函 marks, my stomach sank and i was filled with a sense of doom. i started to feel like crying.
when i heard my 作文 marks, i was thinking, oh no. then my eyes started filling with a bit of tears. just a bit. was silently scolding myself and saying in my heart, no! don’t cry! control yourself.
when i heard my 阅读 (paper 2) marks, i was trying to blink back my tears. they just kept coming. and i was feeling so sad. i’d been reading 小说s ever since June and i tried so hard just to pass my chinese and here i was, failing every component for chinese SA2.
then shiming peered at me. ‘are you crying?’
okay, so that set me off. i wanted to just wail out loud, but i restrained myself. i was so ashamed, crying in front of everyone and even a teacher. so i hid my face with my hands. (i didn’t do a good job though. i think they could still see my face)
赵老师 said that even though i failed my Chinese, i’m not a student who hates Chinese and he mentioned to the class that he always see me reading 小说s. he said i should spend half the time i spend reading the books to practice more and find more 成语s.
谢谢赵老师。
pretty ugly.
Rain
-Shazzar Kallie
The rain cascaded
in showers from the gray sky,
as the heavens touched
earth, quenching thirst for dry lands
and giving life unto all.
It gave life to our union.
We embraced as the raindrops
poured like pennies from Heaven
enriching our love.
We needed it to grow.
Our bodies lay wet,
on the grassy hillside
as we forgot about tomorrow
and cherished the day
angels shed their tears.
Jazz filled the atmosphere
as the tears became
a melody of enchantment
when they touched earth
as our souls danced to the rhythm.
The motion of our movements
were enhanced by the cool air
which breezed through our lungs.
There was no concept of time,
only the moment existed.
I wished to never see the sun again.
It would only dry up the ecstasy
that enshrined in our souls
as the gray sky stretched
across the horizon.
Sugar Castles In The Rain
-Sherry Gail Heim
We built sand castles on the beach
With every setting sun
The miracle of our first love
Turned each sandy mass
Into a glorious sugar castle
We believed would last
Through all eternity
Our hearts were certain and bold
Each day we built another castle
To add to our paper doll world
We placed gargoyles at the gates
To guard our starry fantasies
From the dangers of sun-filled days and youthful hearts
As we sealed our castles with our dreams
We were children, our lives an uncharted path
Our bodies tanned, hair bleached by the sun
We swam with dolphins
Howled at the moon
Gathered shells along the shore
To adorn the fragile walls of our tiny home
We lived our days within our private dream
With autumn came the rain
The fantasy world we had built
Began to crumble and sag
Liquid puddles upon the sand
The days had grown short, summer gone
We watched our castles melt into the sea
Taking with them our dreams of forever love
The years have stolen my youth and quenched my dreams
I walk along the beach
A scavenger, searching for a sugary spire
One perfect shell to color my world
I long for the honey-sweetness of summer past
As I feel the sting of the sun upon my leathering flesh
I inhale the salty air, infused with memories of hope
I read you had passed away last week; that you never married
Gone to sugar castles in the sky
I wonder as I walk
If you recall that summer
And the first love of our youth
I press my feet deep into the sand
In the very place we first made love
I sense your closeness and melt into the glory of that summer in the sun
Stupid questions with the smart answers
BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me…
GIRL: If we become engaged, will you give me a ring?
BOY: Sure, what’s your phone number?
GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple.
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don’t you ever want to improve?
BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon?
BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there?
SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?
TRACY: I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN: You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN: Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN: NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY: John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly. What do you think, Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.
Girlfriend: “…And are you sure you love me and no one else?”
Boyfriend: “Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.”
Teacher: “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Pupil: “The moon.”
Teacher: “Why?”
Pupil: “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it.”
Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Pupil: “A teacher.”
Waiter: “Would you like your coffee black?”
Customer: “What other colors do you have?”
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Teacher: “Sam, you talk a lot!”
Sam: “It’s a family tradition.”
Teacher: “What do you mean?”
Sam: “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.”
Teacher: “What about your mother?”
Sam: “She’s a woman.”
Tom: “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”
David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated.”
Teacher: “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”
Student: “Brotherly love.”
Teacher: “Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?”
Sam: “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.”
Patient: “What are the chances of my recovering, doctor?”
Doctor: “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died.”
Teacher: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
Student: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”
Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why
his father didn’t punish him?”
Student: “Because George still had the axe in is hand.”
Funny truths about life in small Singapore…
1. Night–Sleep with aircon; Day–Bathe with heater on
2. Day–Cannot wake up; Night–Cannot sleep
3. Translation is needed between Singaporean Chinese and Mainland Chinese
4. Smell of rubbish besides letterboxes; Rubbish inside letterboxes
5. Chinese Singaporeans use different languages other then Chinese to communicate.
6. Singaporeans never like to vote, but like to complain
7. There are quite a number of rich/poor people in Singapore – They have Car, Credit Card, CPF but no Cash and is liable to lots of loans
9. There are quite a few high-tech barbaric Singaporeans–they know how to use state-of-the art equipment, 3G mobile phone and powerful computers but they don’t know how to use a simple dustbin or a toilet
10. Half Singaporeans rush to buy Hello Kitty, but the other half busy killing stray cats
11. Chewing Gum–Can chew, cannot buy? (Restricted to buying)
12. Cigarettes–Convenient to buy; not convenient to smoke
13. Private Cars–Cheaper and cheaper to buy, harder and harder to maintain
14. Education – Teachers teaching less but expects students to learn more
enjoy! the ’stupid answers with the smart answers’ and ‘funny truths about life in Singapore’ are emails. thought you all might like it.
where he ended and she began.
“He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.”
-Leo Tolstoy
“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”
Robert Frost
“Desire creates havoc when it is the only thing between two people, or when it is what’s missing.”
-Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
“True love is a discipline in which each divines the secret self of the other and refuses to believe in the mere daily self.”
-William Butler Yeats
“Love is being stupid together.”
-Paul Valery
“When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.”
-Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
i love these quotes!