have you ever been so happy you just wanted to smile and smile and smile at everyone you met and say ‘HI!’ to the world?
have you ever been so sad you just wanted to cry and cry and cry and hide your face from the world?
have you ever been so angry you just wanted to punch the wall in front of you and watch it crumble and scream until your throat gets sore and you can’t utter another word?
have you ever been so ashamed you just wanted to put a paper bag over your face and let yourself suffocate?
have you ever been so tired you just wanted to tell the world you want to give up and yet you don’t dare?
Archive for March, 2008
have you ever
花开的方向
nothing exciting for this whole week,
unless you count the fact that i almost fell asleep during mr chia’s class today. i think it was due to the fact that:
1/ it was really hot
2/ the classroom was stuffy and suffocating
3/ alpha and beta are confusing me
wednesday was our dear Pork Chop’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! she was so gullible and we tricked her so many times. we’re convincing actors and actresses eh? i absolutely enjoyed the part where she got cream smashed into her face. not really smashed–more like dabbed? no. oh yeah smeared. my sister just gave me the exact word.
“My teacher reminds me of history. She is always repeating herself.”
get the joke?
here’s another.
“Ah Boy, how much did you get for your exam?”
“Ten marks lesser than Ah Lim.”
“And how much did Ah Lim get?”
“Ten.”
HOW DUMB. this jokes are courtesy of my sister.
yesterday we had band practice. when we went up for sectionals, we started practising the first part of Habitat, Atmospheres. lihong was there coaching emily and i and then he asked us to tune. after that emily couldn’t play her tuning note and that sparked a series of hysterical laughter between the three of us with the other three–zhihao, joanne and winnie–looking bewildered and asking, ‘What’s happening?’. come to think of it, i don’t know what was so funny. but then again, it just seemed silly–funny in a silly way. so we were laughing and laughing and emily couldn’t stop and thus she couldn’t play her tuning note and then lihong was laughing and laughing and laughing like a madman. (no offense) we are all so odd.
sometimes i wonder why i’m such a weirdo.
and a rather random one.
the two books that i’m reading, 面包树出走了 by 张小娴 and Tatiana and Alexander by Paullina Simons, are both about love. actually i just finished the Chinese book today. it’s so sad ): the narrator of the story, 程韵, has a boyfriend, 方文, who writes song lyrics for a living. then comes a rising star, 米儿, who began singing 方文’s lyrics. but after that 程韵 finds out that 方文 is having a relationship with 米儿 and breaks up with him. and then she falls in love with another guy called 星宇, who was a child prodigy. but later 程韵 finds out that 方文 still loves her (even though she refuses to believe him anymore) through the song that he wrote, 花开的方向. anyway they never got together again.
to me, the girl is a bit stupid. the guy already apologised and even wrote such sad songs that show his feelings for her but she still doesn’t want to take him back. shiming disagrees with me at this part. she thinks that the guy was stupid and the girl is right to be angry with him.
Tatiana and Alexander is an entirely different story. it’s during World War I (with Hitler and Stalin) where Alexander is arrested for some crimes that he has done, although i’m not entirely sure whether he has really committed those crimes or not. his wife, Tatiana, is living on Ellis Island (America) with their newborn child, Anthony, with the fact that Alexander is dead. but the truth is, he’s not dead. instead he is leading a penal battalion and he is advancing toward Germany.
gah. i think Alexander is stupid by lying to Tatiana that he’s dead. i think it’s because he doesn’t want her to miss him too much. but it’s apparent that they both love each other very much. the story is really sad. makes me want to cry.
this is odd, how love can make one hate another so much–as showed in 面包树出走了–and make one miss another so much and want to keep going, as showed in Tatiana and Alexander. but it’s nice.
i think i’m going to quickly finish reading Paullina Simons’ book. i have to return it next Tuesday and i’m barely past half the book!
official first time
alright, i haven’t updated my blog for so long. lots of stuff happened, so i’m going to share bit by bit.
1/ on the last day of school, xueling and i went to play on the seesaw! and she was trying to teach me Physics stuff. about the pivot or something. thank goodness i don’t take Physics. we had a really great time (especially xueling, because she kept trying to bounce me and see if i jumped).
wasn’t the sky nice?
2/ the other day, on 8th march, i went to Sentosa. and this is what i saw.
can you see the cross in the sky?
and also the Singapore Flyer:
IF YOU CANNOT SEE PLEASE CLICK AND
ENLARGE
.
i know i’m treating you all like idiots, but that’s the way i am.
3/ okay, i got no more photos. oh band election results came out last week on 18th march. i thereby congratulate:
-yunyee, Band Major
-zariel, Drum Major
-santa claus, Concert Master
-jehan, Treasurer
-beixi, Librarian
-joanne and wingsum, QMs
-jordy, Assistant Treasurer
-deon, Welfare Head
-cassandra, Cleanliness Head
-and the SLs: santa claus (flutes), auntie lee (clarinets), daniel (assistant of clarinets), jean (saxophone), beixi (tubas), zariel (euphoniums), marvyn (trombones), wanping (lower winds) and deon (percussion). tell me if i missed anyone out or got anything wrong!
i’m the secretary by the way.
4/ i went to watch The Spiderwick Chronicles on 16th march (last day of school holiday). it should be 16th march, i’m not sure. but it was good (:
5/ on 22nd march (Saturday), i went to DBS Art Centre to watch One Man Star Wars Trilogy performed by Charles Ross. it was damn funny, he knew how to make all the sounds and imitate the characters and it was awesome! really good. that is, if you like Star Wars.
i had dental again today. the dentist wanted me to come back because she needed to patch up a small hole in my tooth. and i was listening to the radio, so it was bearable. On a Monday, I am waiting/ Tuesday, I am fading/ And by Wednesday, I can’t sleep…
the sec1s had band today. it was my official first time being secretary and it felt weird. the sec1s have absolutely no discipline–even when i was standing there and waiting for them to keep quiet, they were still talking. i got 2 examples: one girl who kept talking to Qing Ping in the clarinet section and the oboe boy who knew i was looking at him but still continued talking. in the end i was like, ‘are you done talking?’ i notice the sec1s in the brass sections and percussion are not so bad.
then after their practice zhihao scolded them. so strict! not really scold, it was reprimanding. ah well. i hope the sec1s will listen more to us; he was saying that the sec1s are not exactly giving us respect. anyway, they’re not so bad. i just want them to know that discipline is the key to loving and enjoying band. sounds stupid, but i’ve learned it since i came to band. i’ve never seen anything hateful in band other than too-strict EXCO members. i know i’m being very unappreciative and disrespectful and that rachel said people hating you is part of the whole leadership ‘package’, but then, they were just too strict and i didn’t really like them. but then again, my sec 1 year has become a mere vague…thing. and i can’t remember anything now…i just don’t know why, but i only remember the time when i first met the flute section, when i first met the alumni (i remember very clearly manning and huiqin), playing Essential Elements, Covington Square, Wonderful Invention, Hello, Dolly! and Theme From New York, New York. i remember gaping at the seniors when they were playing Zodiac, the Limit of the Lion and Sunrise. i remember thinking, one day, we’re all going to be like them. and here we are today, growing so fast we barely have time to think anymore. here we are, part of the EXCO, wanting to do our best to lead the band and put it back on its feet. and i really hope that the band will cooperate and get itself back onto its feet so we can get Gold for NBC and SYF.
oh well. i hope so.
my dear junior Bernice, i hope you will work hard and get your instrument. sometimes it seems so difficult and we can’t push you too much because you just began your secondary school life, but i hope you will really try. don’t give up!
my dear junior Emily, emoing is bad for you. sec 2 life may seem stressed, but really, it’s to prepare you for upper secondary. smile! and i hope you will work hard on your flute and do the flute section proud with winnie and the sec1 juniors (:
and lastly,
my dear flutemate (?) Zhihao, you may think E6 is the worst class in the whole level for the Express stream, but i think you’re wrong. even if you think you’re stupid, look around you and at yourself. if i am not wrong, some people in my class are doing worser than you. and you have music talent, put it to good use! don’t lose confidence in yourself when you fail tests, instead, treat it as one of the learning obstacles that you have to get over.
i better get off now. i’ve been on the computer for two hours.
what they really can achieve
Shelter
Corrinne May
What’s wrong, what’s getting you down
Is it something I might have said?
You’re walking around
with your head to the ground
and your eyes are watery red
I know you’ve been through rough times
Kicked around, thrown to the ground
but you’ve always been the strong one
So don’t tell me that nobody gets you
‘Cause I’m standing in your corner
Knocking at your door
You don’t have to be alone
Just call my name
Let me be an answer
‘Cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter my friend
We share a bond
You and I we belong
We’re like coffee and morning trains
You strip my defenses
I catch your pretenses
The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I’d be your lifeline
Made a vow that I’d surround you with love at every milestone
I’ll listen when nobody gets you
I’m still standing in your corner
Waiting by your door
You don’t have to be alone
Just call my name
Let me be an answer
’cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter my friend
It was not too long ago
You sought to understand
You helped me mend
Remember when
So promise me you’ll
Call my name
Let me be an answer
’cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let my be your shelter my friend
this song’s for santa claus! to tell him that he’s not unimportant and that i will always appreciate such a kind person like him who never fails to bring joy into everyone’s lives.
holidays are here!
sec 3s came back for English grammar and comprehension tests today. then the 3E2 Geography students had to stay back to go through some stuff. so in the end my whole band practice was…half an hour! so not called practice. then tomorrow got the Lifeskills Time Management Workshop. gah. 2 hours gone again. but i really need the practices! i am really quite desperate, come to think of it.
band election; came and went so fast. (the only good thing when i was at the front with the 4 others answering questions was that my knees weren’t feeling wobbly.) it’s kind of weird now that the sec 4s have stepped down. it’s just the 2s and 3s. suddenly i feel so…
small.
what am i actually thinking over here?
rachel was talking to me today about–what if i get the top 3 posts in band?
i know everyone knows that i leave before attendance is marked because i got to pick up my brother. but the people who get the top 3 posts will have to chase the people out of the band room after all the band practices, which means they will have to stay back until everyone has gone.
what if i really get the top 3 posts? would i choose my duty in band,
…or my brother?
but first of all, i don’t want to choose the post just because i will get CCA points. i’m not looking for the points or the rewards. i’m just looking forward to really help the band achieve what they really can achieve. i don’t want to see the band die.
the problem now is picking up my brother. if i leave early, it would mean not doing my duty. but if i stay and wait until everyone is gone, i’d be neglecting him and it will also not be safe for him.
yet again, i’m stuck in the middle. but i’m going to talk to my parents about this. i wonder what they’re going to say.
i wonder what are you going to say. would you stay,
or would you go to your brother?
