Archive for August, 2008

2 chocolates and 2 hugs

August 29, 2008 at 10:45 am · Filed under friends and family, loved!, pictures and movies

17 photos today!


this was taken some months ago, in May. i keep forgetting to post it. anyway, the clouds look like people right?

my sister is so ‘artistic’. she ‘boxed’ my bear’s eye.

her penguin in a ‘gown’.

‘emperor’ penguin.

this was the first penguin she drew (before the emperor and the gown ones).

penguin man! it has feet.

penguin with long legs. or is it flippers? or feet?

my hippo! you wouldn’t believe how my sister drew hers. it looked like a baboon.

chicken. it looks a little disfigured.

the monkey and the coconut tree. ‘I’m dancing to my coconuts!’

it was supposed to be a swan and she drew it wrongly.

here’s the corrected swan.

enough about my sister’s nonsense. here’s Beautiful Sunday on 10 August 2008. that’s almost 3 weeks ago! the Esplanade concert hall:

auntie lee’s bushy hair that looks like a brush. guess whose hands are those?

zhihao’s, shiming’s, mine.

here’s pork with her strawberry ‘sian-sation’ (sensation). what is she staring at?

random picture of santa!

Teachers’ Day celebration! happy teachers’ day to all teachers in the world (which includes just about everybody because everybody teaches everyone. agree?). mrs chan gave me 2 chocolates and 2 hugs. gosh so funny! mrs tan (English) will not be teaching us anymore and mr ling is leaving for UK to study Nanotech. thank you mrs tan and mr ling! wish you the best of luck in anything you do. went out with pork and santa to e!hub. first we went bowling. met casandra and her friends, firman and ginko. first game–pork: 33, santa: 75, me: 68. the next game, we randomly bowled. so cute! everyone should have seen the way pork bowled.

after that went for lunch at Superdog. santa had a burger, chilli cheese fries (which he ate very happily–that chilli addict) and iced lemon tea. pork ate fish and chips and drank strawberry sensation. santa went to smell it and then after that she went, ‘you expect me to drink it when you smelled it?’ he replied, ‘it’s okay, no pi sai (nose shit) dropped inside la.’ (so strange)

okay, then on to the arcade. highlight at Zone X: pork dancing ParaPara! MY GOSH. santa danced as well. pork looked like a bird went she flapped her hands. so funny! afterwards we went to Cup Walker. santa got iced lemon tea (for the second time today) and pork got green apple red tea. santa took one look at it and went, ‘it looks gross.’ (the colour). to which pork replied, ‘no…it’s special. like me.’ and then she gives such a large funny grin that i can’t help but start laughing again.

on the way back to my house (where they left their bags), they start poking each other like retards, dunno for what reason, and then santa starts running away from her. again, i also don’t know why. oh, and santa and i began walking very fast so pork couldn’t catch up with us and she finally slowed down because she walked too fast and had to pee. haha! she spent 5 minutes in the toilet and santa was so agitated. when we reached White Sands she went to buy watermelon juice. and i thought she drank a lot already. met my sister and her old classmates, jessica and jolene, and then the friends left. went to pick up my brother from the studentcare centre and then we were waiting outside the centre cos my dad told us to wait there while he called his friend to see if he could bring us back. 10 minutes later i called him and asked what the friend said and my dad said, ‘you all have to go home on your own.’
me: ‘huh? then we waited there so long.’
my dad: ’sorry. i forgot to call you.’
(first time i see my dad so forgetful haha)

SEPTEMBER HOLIDAYS! and piano exam -.- oh no!

pork is an auntie wannabe. auntie lee, do you want her as your disciple? (:

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i don’t dare.

August 22, 2008 at 9:50 am · Filed under bad feelings, thinking

WHY?

WHY?

WHY?

WHY?

WHY?

): i’m going out of my mind. i want to say, but i don’t dare.
this year has changed me again. every year, i change. and every year, i find that i don’t recognise myself. ever since the start of this year, i have been losing my confidence and trust in a lot of people. there are 2 in particular whom i actually looked up to. and then i realised, they’re not so good after all. they’re just like everyone and i know they do not particularly give a damn about me. i know this from their actions, their manners. maybe it’s me who is just not giving them the chance to bother about me, but i don’t know. why did i look up to them? did i think they are better than me? yes, they are better than me. smart, pretty, boy magnets. but in the end, were they really so good? i guess i was wrong and disillusioned all the time. i never really saw what was underneath those beautiful shells. in the end, they’re just like any other person. so far, i only know one unique person. as in, really unique. different. humorous. smart. caring. and good. he’s a really good person. (i think you know who you are)
everytime i feel like i’m taking advantage of someone and it makes me feel so bad. be it a friend, a classmate or a family member, i feel bad all the time. last time i told my sister about this but she said everyone takes advantage of people but i don’t believe that. i don’t think it’s true. and i rely on a lot of people to get me through everyday. i don’t think they notice this. i rely on friends for laughter, comfort, company and attention. that makes me feel even worse even though i’m trying to cut the habit (of relying on people for attention). sure, i could live everyday without talking to anyone, if that’s how antisocial i want to be. but i simply can’t imagine living with nothing. with only black and white. the whole world would seem dull and oblivious to your presence. nothing would ever be in sharp definition. all you would see would be a blur of colours, of people enjoying themselves while you walk off in the other direction and never turned back to look at them.
i rely on my parents for love, money, shelter, food and convenience. i feel that i treat people really badly. even though i keep trying to change myself, i find that i can’t. and i have been realising that i am too wrapped up in my life. i don’t know what goes on outside it. and isn’t everyone like that? we don’t bother about others. when they are experiencing difficulties, going through ordeals…we only ask if they’re fine for the sake of asking. half the time i don’t believe we ask because we’re really concerned. have you thought about this?
i don’t know why i am talking about all this. i don’t think it makes a difference. which reminds me: you may think i’m heartless for going off next year instead of waiting, but i can’t hold up anymore. am very sorry if you’re disappointed with my answer.

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Chains Around My Heart

August 14, 2008 at 11:06 am · Filed under bad feelings, music and lyrics

i’m getting stranger and stranger everyday. sometimes i act happy and i think i’m happy, but when i’m not with anyone, i think about how i just acted in front of people and i feel like an idiot for pretending to be happy. it doesn’t seem like there is anything worth waiting or living for. (i know i sound suicidal but you know i’m not)
i know my behaviour was very weird today. went to McDonalds with zhihao, candy and moyra, then selene came soon after. then instead of engaging in conversation, i took out my book and read. how antisocial can i get? in their words, “she’s such an antisocial Po!” (the Teletubbies Po) cos we pretended we were the Teletubbies and I WAS PO. and i was the only one that screwed up the Teletubbies song. okay i’m rambling. don’t listen to me.
one more thing. i realise that whenever i get home…
er-hem. sorry. wrong thing to blurt out. personal problems. if you want to know then ask me but maybe even if you ask i won’t even want to tell you cos it’s silly. i think you will find it silly.
NEVER MIND.
sorry. my moods are getting from bad to worse. WHYYYYYYYYYYY. (picture all those cartoon characters that throw their heads back and bawl like crazy. i’m acting like one now) WHYYYYYYYYY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
screaming in my head and trying to get answers, but they just don’t seem to come.
am currently so addicted to Richard Marx’s and Tracy Chapman’s songs! i’m sure you all know Richard Marx–Right Here Waiting, Hazard, Children of the Night, Endless Summer Nights, Chains Around My Heart–but not Tracy Chapman. am particularly attracted to this song of hers: Telling Stories. don’t be shocked when you hear her sing, cos she sounds like a guy. i also like Baby Can I Hold You, Bang Bang Bang, Fast Car and Open Arms. and i am especially psycho over Richard Marx’s Now and Forever. the lyrics are so nice. here they are (credits to www.lyrics007.com):

Now and Forever
Richard Marx
Whenever I’m weary from the battles that rage
in my head
You make sense of madness when my sanity
hangs by a thread
I lose my way but still you seam to understand
Now and forever
I will be your man

Sometimes I just hold you
Too caught up in me to see

I’m holding a fortune that heaven has given
to me
I’ll try to show you each and every way I can
Now and forever
I will be you man

Now I can rest my worries and always be sure
That I won’t be alone anymore
If I’d only known you were there all the time
All this time

Until the day the ocean doesn’t touch the
sand
Now and forever
I will be your man
Now and forever
I will be your man

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Enzymes

August 7, 2008 at 12:01 pm · Filed under thinking

1800-PSYCHOPATH!
i don’t feel like i got anything to post except for today’s extra rainy episode. it’s possibly one of the worse i’ve ever experienced. so much rain until everything looked misty in the distance and the pavements were all drowned in the rainwater.
was at white sands with zhihao helping emily with Enzymes and we ended up crapping over stupid stuff. after that we saw her Pelican outside and i told her he has no resemblance at all to that bird. haha. anyway.
this is what i got on the way home:
wet uniform,
wet shoes,
soggy socks,
6 flashes of lightnings (no i wasn’t struck; i saw them),
stunned people who gasped at me.

the only things that were not wet were darling’s letter and my ponytail! how ironic, when my fringe was all wet. the funny stuff came when the people saw how wet i was. one of them was a tomboyish girl who took one look at me and began tutting. and the rest were 2 guys and a girl who were near the lift and one of them went ‘wah’ when they saw me. for some reason i was very amused by them and i wanted to laugh but i would have been seen as a totally insane person.

okay i’m weird.
i messaged zhihao and emily. their replies:
zhihao: you’re crazy shit.
emily: hahaz..good for you!

i can just imagine their faces.

why do we feel silly when we see the words we wrote when we were angry, sad or not in the normal state of mind?

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