Archive for March, 2009

5th

March 29, 2009 at 9:25 pm · Filed under school and homework

hmmm, can’t log into my school email account. never mind, i’ll try again later.

hooray for the Extension programme. have gotten a work experience placement at Deakin University. i’ll be doing lab work. haha fun. i’d be dead if i don’t have a placement by now.
had House Athletics last Friday. we came in 5th hahaha.

my homework is piling up; i don’t know why.
-Geog project report due tomorrow
-Geog creative product due Friday (last day of term 1)
-Music Performance tomorrow–i learned the grade 5 song in 3 days. still very uncertain. i can’t play Ravel’s Mouvement de Menuet cos it’s too difficult and will probably bore them.
-Christian Studies: Who Am I? i have no idea.
-Christian Studies: Song assignment
-Work Experience: safe@work certificates
-Work Experience: WEAF form
-Math revision: common test today and Wednesday

homework i’ll probably do over the holidays:
-Romeo and Juliet analytical essay
-wider reading task (Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte)
-Chinese booklets
-?

i can’t remember.
thanks selene and zhihao for updating me. oh yeah, good luck for SYF! the results don’t matter. it’s the effort.

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inventing syndromes

March 18, 2009 at 9:25 pm · Filed under friends and family, thinking

events bring forth thoughts which influences your feelings.
that’s what we learn in PD! (Personal Development)
all the stuff is common sense actually, but when you are given a situation you find that people have so many (unexpected) responses towards it.

if you have negative thoughts, you will feel negative.
so BE POSITIVE!
perhaps you’re going to say, ‘it’s easy for you to say.’ and most of the time we find it so easy to blame ourselves but we should actually try to go over the bad points and look at our good points.

easy to say, hard to do. but it takes time.

when i rant, it’s not that i’m not okay, but that i need to think aloud. keeping it inside me is not going to work, like everyone always says. so do not be anxious/ worried/ stressed/ whatever if you see me ranting, just treat it like i’m a madwoman with RRS (Random Ranting Syndrome). but thanks, really.

kind of invented other ’syndromes’ as well. most parents have SROPS (Super Retarded Over Protective Syndrome). haha inventing syndromes is fun.

my dad has recently been telling me repeatedly to create Faceboook. people i know with Facebook: him, my mum, my brother (who is only nine), my sis, her friends, some of her friends’ parents, some of my relatives (some are 30/ reaching 30) and my piano teacher!

so which is the modern generation now? times have really changed.

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1324 hours

March 16, 2009 at 5:25 am · Filed under bad feelings, school and homework

who is a human? what are feelings? how tough are you? how weak are you?

if you can answer those questions, you’re probably not me.

since when did life start getting complicated? why can’t we just be like kids?

it’s because of two words:

GROWING UP.

guess that answers my questions.

am probably not going to tell you that life is good or life sucks or life is always the same (because it never is).

i care too much to not care.

if you want to dislike me even though i’m doing my best, then i have nothing to say. just make your life hell. you’re just going to suffer, if you think you’re a good person at teaching everyone.

you don’t bother about me. it’s like you’re biased against me. and i never did anything. would be best if i studied on my own, isn’t it? i know the language, anyway. not as if i just started learning it from you. thought you were a good teacher, having second thoughts now.

i’m a sucker for praises, don’t mind me, yeah?

i don’t really care about bacteria. i don’t care much for sports. (cos i’m a loser when it comes to them)

going to lose everything the next time i turn around, but that’s fine.

best for life to be easy and relaxed, best to let go of everything. let the walls fall.

it’s because of idiots and betrayers and bullies that we guard ourselves too much.

seriously, i am so serious and so confused now that i’m probably not going to take sides, not going to stand up for anyone. don’t know why i call you a friend, treat you like one but i don’t feel like you’re one.

i guess it’s just me.

have been quite serious really. still hiding all my feelings and that. less random now.

suddenly wonder what will happen if i run back to Singapore. life will probably be just about the same.

hopefully it wasn’t a waste of time and money coming all the way here.
actually, i doubt hope even exists at all.

it’s just meant to disappoint you.
why hope?

i am scoffing. in a really scoffing-ish mood.

seriously, what is life? what on Earth is it? it’s for you to enjoy, isn’t it?

life is not dramatic or traumatic or idiotic. (well, how funny, i’m making myself seem like an idiot.) so what is life? how are you supposed to be living? the way you are now? i don’t think so. there is obviously something more to everyone’s lives but we’re just so contented/ discontented that we don’t see it. or we search for it, but we don’t find it.

why do we have to strive for something everyday? why can’t we do things that we enjoy and are good at? maybe i should ask a better question: why is the world full of idiots?

i’m sorry that i’m rambling. i’ll try not to.

it’s probably 1324 hours at your side now. lunch or lessons?

Comments (6)

14-19

March 5, 2009 at 9:25 pm · Filed under friends and family, loved!

replying, after much delay:

zhihao: total defence day? i forgot. internet is still not up, i think i am resigned to this fact.

emily: you nutty little girl, i can’t be a psychologist. this is only work EXPERIENCE. emphasise: EXPERIENCE. haha how do you make the patient worse? teach me! yes, no entertainment at home except homework, watching my brother play Xbox, folding clothes and Desperate Housewives every Monday (if we manage to catch the show). actually, there are quite a lot of things to do. anyway, what’s with ‘time can change anything and everything?’ but yeah it’s true. i know threesome hugs are fun! whee! i made your day better again? you should sleep more, then you will dream more and then you can retain more information in your memory. MUST SLEEP OKAY. hahah.

Lesbian?: interesting? have a lot of question marks going off in my head. haha it’s okay i guess. weather has been between 14-19 degrees for the past 2 days and today there’s no difference. oh, it has been raining for these 3 mornings. surprisingly we’re not sick. dots, the hottest person? why can’t i be a florist? i like flowers!

Huimin: you’re nuts. no cute guys la! i’m in a girls’ school! haha how’s 4E2? be a nice person and say thank you to Sydney for me cos he sent me a message on the evening i left and i didn’t get to reply to him cos everyone was talking at the same time. oh, in that case say sorry also, cos he probably thinks i’m an idiot not to reply after almost 2 months. so yeah, say thanks and sorry and send my regards. hahaha. yeah, have a threesome hug. it’s super fun! you’ll end up laughing like an idiot. (that’s the case it was for me haha)

yijin: hello granny! i like your emails. they keep me up to date. how was Physics SPA? hope it was good! p.s. internet still not up. gah.

CANDY: belated Valentines’ Day. OH DEAR i forgot to write that on my blog. so many florists had all the flower arrangements and stuff and it was all so pretty! haha. dots? later they bleed and scold me. so i can’t use a rose to poke them. oops, i mean prick. yes, FLOWERS ARE PRETTY! yay! how’s school? miss you too (:

Cas: hello nutty girl! it sounds fun but it isn’t! i’m starting to freak out cos i haven’t got any placement and i have to get one by 27 march. gahhhhh. haha. yeah, i got a friend who says we can go find childcare places together if she can’t do fashion design and i can’t find a place. yay yay yay (:

Evangelina: haha, thanks!

life is improving. this is good.

Comments (8)

pretty jigsaw puzzle

March 4, 2009 at 9:26 pm · Filed under friends and family

threesome hugs are fun, when you crush three people together and laugh like crazy people.
the closeness of good friendship–i like it.
don’t you feel that your friends give you social positions and support and they make you feel secure and more confident?
and then, in a group, there’s always a ‘leader’.
in this group, there is no leader. we just talk, share our opinions, recount on childhood and funny memories, make each other laugh. i like it. it is comfortable, no stress at all, no pressure to help people, no pressure to try and make myself belong. because i know i fit in nicely with this group. we’re like 3 pieces of a pretty jigsaw puzzle. everyone stands out and everyone doesn’t stand out. we’re all equal. we know stuff about each other, not just only the fact that we’re funny and nuts. we know each other’s ambitions and dreams and how many kids we wanna have. and for the first time, i am pulling people to join something with me. when was i able to do that?

Comments (3)

!

March 3, 2009 at 5:28 am · Filed under bad feelings, thinking

what is wrong with me! eurgh! *&@##$%^&**&$#%#@$#%^^&%$#$. i ought to be grateful but i’m not. bloody hell. idiot.
no offense, i’m just scolding myself.
i think i’m really weird, one period i can be happy and the next i can be sick and down and just wanna go home. where is home anyway? is it here where everyone speaks so much louder and are more vulgar or back where everyone is wearing white blouses and those trademark blue bottoms?
i ought to be grateful but i’m not.
i ought to be grateful that people reply and talk to me and tell me stupid stuff, and that my parents spent so much time and money so they could bring us here, and that people are being my friends,

but i’m not.
there is something really wrong. i’m making my own life suck.

thanks anyway, for all your comments and emails. love you all.

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