Archive for July, 2009

10.43

July 27, 2009 at 12:44 pm · Filed under books, music and lyrics, school and homework, thinking

replying…
candy: it’s okay, i’m pretty sure the person’s not coming back to read more of my blog cos he doesn’t like what i write. i might come back during december/ january, although not confirmed. haha, that’s not bio lesson, that’s work experience. i’ll tell you more about it!

emily: but you’re smart. what makes you think you’re stupid? you’re so random! emily colours don’t consist of red! actually maybe maroon is in a way. haha.

yijin: thanks yijin (: i’m over it now…i’m going to work hard on piano! you take care too, don’t fall sick! prelims are coming soon right?

huimin: i am, most of the time! what topic was it? oh, is it mr njoo teaching you all now or still mr mukmien? someone told me but i forgot!

first top fan: it’s okay, i won’t tell anyone. anyway, i suppose they know who you are!

hilary: hello! i’m good, how are you? is school stressful? (:

zhihao: thanks for the hyper caps message. what kind of music stuff? well all the best for the Netherlands contest! you’ll be fine. (: i’ll come back maybe december/ january. not confirmed!

i’m sorry that i haven’t updated for almost a month. gah, lousy apology. last week i had to finish a geography essay, a science experiment plan, a med. project, english powerpoint (have to hand in tomorrow)…and the list goes on. still.

if you are still wondering, holiday is over. today marked the third week of school. this term we’ll have 9 weeks and hooray 3 weeks of holiday. aren’t i getting lazy? (:

registered for exam last week. have to perform in class for term performance. and then mrs ellis wants me to play for a piano recital thing. *screams.

subject choice information evening will be on soon. teachers will talk to us about the subjects and all that. about VCE and IB.

i finished reading The Bridges of Madison County today. sounds familiar? i really can’t make up my mind if it’s real or not. because at the front of the book where they put the copyright notice and the date the book was published there was that line: ‘this book is entirely a work of fiction.’ but the author wrote at the front that michael and carolyn johnson told him the story. hmmm. but either way it’s nice. and very sad. i know i’m always using those two words, sorry. but it’s one of those kind of books that you would gladly read over and over again because it’s not something that you would come across every day.

here’s a question to think about: we’re here on earth for a reason, aren’t we? if not, what’s the use of having a life?

it’s 10.43. good night.

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being watched.

July 3, 2009 at 12:46 pm · Filed under bad feelings, thinking

replying:
HUIMIN–thanks dear mummy! how have you been by the way? yeah, it’s like SPA, but a lot more fun! (:

EMILY–i agree, but then people look at you with that weird look on their faces. maybe. i won’t care about that person anymore.

work experience was just about the most enriching week i’ve ever had. we learned a lot of new stuff that people in our year level wouldn’t learn about. we learned about how copper helps in our development (hair, skin and other parts), the Menkes disease, Wilsons disease, micro litres, plasmid in the bacteria, the confocal microscope, the powerful owl, seeing cells in different stages of mitosis, gram stain, electrophoresis, allergies like pollen and latex and peanuts…and what’s more, we got paid for learning all these. (: don’t you agree it’s good?

we had a 2-hour practical everyday. at times i found it hard, but that was the point of having this work experience at Deakin. they kept saying it would be challenging. and it was at some stages. but it was really fun, that we see stuff that we wouldn’t see in school. it was good.

i’m glad i got into the extension programme in school, otherwise i wouldn’t have the chance to get into this.

figured out that i might be allergic to latex. or the powder in the latex gloves. but thankfully the swelling has gone down, so it’s good.

the semester report was mailed home. i wish i didn’t open it.

actually, it was okay. but i wish that i had enough confidence to perform in front of a group of people. this is what the teacher wrote: ‘Her class performances have sounded under-prepared and in need of practice.’

my mum knew what was bugging me and she said that if i really didn’t want to take music for IB next year i didn’t have to.

but the thing is, i got to take lessons in school earlier than others because my music elective teacher told the music secretary that i would be taking IB music next year. not taking it next year would be showing that i’m ungrateful and stupid. and mrs ellis is nice. i feel that she has helped me a lot. once she even talked about grade 8 and diploma. high hopes or not? i think i could do it, just not in front of a group of people. i shake and my face goes red and my fingers are not used to the piano and then my dynamics just disappear and i sound flat and just plain bad. i make stupid mistakes that i never make when practising and i feel awkward and clumsy and all wrong.

honestly, i will never be a solo performer.

): i agree that my class performances have sounded bad because the pieces i played were last minute stuff–i’d never learned them before. but i hope that for the term 3 performance when i play Faure’s Andante Moderato i won’t sound so stupid. i guess another reason why i find it so hard to perform well in front of a group is because i find them intimidating. most of them perform better and are more musically inclined than me and they have performed in front of people before. and some of them are kind of unfriendly. it scares me when people are unfriendly. it repels me.

but like my sister said, it’s only 2 more performances.
for a moment i wish i hadn’t picked this elective. i could have done better in something else like art. because i don’t have to draw in front of people.

perhaps i just don’t like being watched.

i’m obviously quiet.
‘…a quiet student…’
‘…I would like her to contribute answers and ideas more often.’
‘Stacey often needs to be prompted to contribute to discussion during Health classes,’
‘In class I would welcome more discussion from her.’
‘…an introverted performer…’

sometimes i shut up at the wrong times. but i prefer listening–don’t really see the need to open my mouth much, though i know i should. the teachers would bash me if i told them that.

some interesting stuff on TV today. there’s a 16-year-old girl who’s physically an infant. it’s a bit hard to believe. and then there’s jason zamprogno, or jason jackson, the michael jackson worshipper. we saw him dancing–just like michael jackson. and the voice and build is almost identical. it’s a bit strange.

term 2 went down quite badly. i feel quite bitter towards some people now, especially the things they said. i know i shouldn’t be petty. but i don’t know how to stop feeling angry towards them.

that’s the worst thing about starting to know someone. you find that they’re not as nice as you thought they were. that’s the worst feeling you can ever get about someone. the feeling that you were wrong all the while.

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